Wedding Bells!!

I hear Wedding bells all around. Lot of my friends are entering into wedlock. I attended several weddings over the past couple of months that i am exhausted and bored to attend them anymore. I am not excited about weddings for various reasons. Firstly, am partially motivated to wear a Saree, as I don't want to be the odd person. On attempting to do so, I fail miserably. My walk was like a march of the penguin. I feel hundreds of eyes looking at me, but sadly not because I look gorgeous, but because I walk like a penguin. Secondly, most of my friends are in US that I feel am the only person attending every other person's wedding. If you find the commonality in the weddings, it is just one thing, guess what?? - my face in at least one of the photos of their wedding album. Thirdly, am bored or confounded to choose a wedding gift. Finally, and most importantly, it is because, I hate this question, "So, when is your marriage? ". How does my wedding matter to everyone including those whom I never knew existed?. Worse is the situation, if you attend a relatives wedding with your family. If you are not smart, it could turn out to be your own engagement, even without your knowledge. You might get engaged to the son/daughter of your second aunt's third cousin's fourth daughter's fifth son (if you are girl ), who is currently in US, with a profession, none other than software engineering. Basically, your Mom might have met that second aunt's friend in this wedding you are attending with your family, for the first time that day.

All this apart, this is all what I see in weddings।Its a slightly funny sight indeed, the bride(my friends) draped in colorful saree and loaded with loud jewellery,posing like models for a jewellery advertisement, surrounded by a bunch of married ladies, all spewing loads of advice (am sorry gals, forgive me for such a comment :( ). It is only in their weddings, that I realise how rich my friends are, and their extreme patience to listen and follow everything they are asked to do. I wonder if I have to face the same.Yesterday, I attended one of my friends wedding.As i stood in corner staring at her, and feeling happy seeing that glow on her face attributed by the close up smile, I was transported three years back. While I felt nostalgic, about the college days, the funny talks that we had, the innocent me, the teacher friends,(They will be amazed by my gandha knowledge now :). Thanks to my cognizant friends). I must accept that I was close to a nerd in college, and didn't enjoy much. I was pouring into technical magazines and books and fundoo projects. I was later told by one of my friends that, according to most of them in my college, "I am a geek, techie, stubborn, kinda arrogant, newton, head-strong, ambitious" . I wonder if any of these adjectives will match me now. None I guess. I just hear people now say, "stupid, immature and sensitive". Few of my friends still feel, I might not get married, and are surprised and don't believe me for what I am currently. Have I changed? who or what brought the change? Is the change for good?I am invariably questioned about myself by my soul. Answers to these in the next post ( if I can find them)।

Last week, I was on a serious discussion with one of my friends about marriage. I forgot to tell you that, my standard answer to the standard question, " how do you want your husband to be? " is, " He should be of my types (not to forget the smile :) )".My types - a guy who is caring, sharing, loving, easy-going , understanding, a techie, someone who is passionate about whatever he does. (The list is long actually. Let me keep it short here). He immediately summarised saying the following," as in someone who gives his girl enough space., and not bothered about money. Whoa!! where will you ever find someone like this?? Poor lil girl, are you really unaware of the acute shortage of such men. Don't you think it is practically impossible to find a human with such traits??" (He is a guy too :)). Being disappointed with such a reply, I agreed to ponder on this and get back to him.

Here is the result of my deep thought process। I feel, every man believes he is smart, and yes, he is caring, he cares for someone whom, he has just started seeing, because he needs time pass, and as far as Sharing is concerned, he is ever ready to share his restaurant bills, easy-going until she agrees for everything that he says, and keeps him happy. If in the process of decision making of whether give her a wife status or not, if something goes wrong, or if she doesn't meet his expectations ( just by one or two qualities), this is what happens, "Gud Morning! , Gud Night!, how was your day?, shall we meet today? what are you doing?" - which was so important then, seems very trivial now. He would have made at least 10 phone calls on an average in a week, then, but now he will answer one of the 100 calls that she makes, just to say, "am busy". He wouldn't have been shy to say, "I love you" then, but, now feels shy to say, "I do not want to lose your friendship, due to misunderstandings". The girl is now, finally given a chance to know that the relationship has turned to friendship, and her boyfriend is now supposed to be her close friend, (though not physically and mentally close any more). The guy sees the next girl, and the girl, if not that very outgoing types, sees the future shattering her hopes. This is not an exaggeration. I have seen this happen to few of my friends :).

Jokes apart, Its a decision of a life-time। I have seen several relationship flounder this way and there is absolutely no space for compromise.Most of my friends say that you have to accept it and move on. But, why should the girl be punished for loving, caring, being committed and considering him to be her whole world. Shouldn't he be punished for using her like an object and throwing her away after use, or when he finds a better one, like selling the used, old car, when you buy a new bigger car, as you get a hike.Am surprised by the way the society treats these gals. The gals are categorised into three types. The girl who is badly hurt and is not able to forget him ( love has the power to turn the world upside down) - emotional idiots (Guys!! if the gals and ladies in your family, do not have this emotion and sensitivity, you cant be a family).Type two - the gals who take it with ease and try to gradually settle down - Sensitive stupids ( you are just a stupid and not an idiot because you finally leave that guy anyways) . Type three - leave the guy immediately and look for another one - flirt (if the guy does the same, he is being practical). Such is the situation, even with the so called, street-smart, stubborn, bold, arrogant, sharp girl :). After having understood and analysed the scenario, I agree with my friend and tell him, " hopes to find someone of my types, is like waiting for Mr. Prince Charming to come for me, riding his horse". At the same time, experiences have made me uncomfortable and shy away from marriage. To my close friends, I say, "As there is no Mr. Prince Charming,I will live with my kid Vismaya ( the gal baby whom I will adopt) and we will be there for each other". They think, I am in crazy mode now.

Anyway, none of my close friends had to meet such faking Prince. They are all happily married to their Price Charming or to the ones whom their parents thought are their kings. All of their faces glowed which a pride of having found their guy, and with a relief of having someone to take care of them all through their lives now. Their eyes sparkled with the smile from their heart and hopes in their mind. I wish them good luck and a very happy life.For all men - Woman is not for you to play with her feelings, she is sensitive to be sympathetic and empathetic for you, after all relationships like marriages are not just to share the bed, but also the ups and most importantly downs.

P.S

* Voice Recognition in Vista is amazing! - surprised abt it, considering it is from microsoft

* This blog - No offence intended. THis is my experience. May be there are nice guys too ( like most of my friends :)).

* 1 year. Since I quit cognizant. But ppl there still remember me :)