'Thanks' for your 'sorry' :)

I walked into a bakery on an evening along with my roomie. The Baker turned with a smile to attend to us and asked us what we wanted. I initially said bread, but after much contemplation, I settled for Aloo bun. The Baker shook his head, and his gesture said, so loudly, as if he he'd spoke, "Are you sure of this? I'm taking it back from you once I hand it over to you". I just smile for a reply, gesturing that I really want it. I then handed over the cash to him and while he was searching for the change, my eyes were scouting for something tastier. My eyes found the brown, steaming hot Coconut bun, which a helper brought to leave it on the display. I just couldn't resist the temptation, and I immediately asked the baker to get one of those. Again with that head shake, accompanied by a weary shutting of eyelids, he gave me the bun and told me that it costs 14 rupees. I handed over a 50 rupee note and when he looked at the 20 rupee note with a why-not-this look, I said I wanted change for 50. He bit his tooth a little hard that I could almost hear it break, and then handed over the change which consisted of a slightly torn 20 rupee note. I immediately jumped saying, I didn't want the torn currency and so asked for an exchange. (I am sooper smart now :)). The baker, returned a good one immediately with a smile. I thanked him and left the shop. My roomie asked why did I thank him. I said, he was being polite and nice to me instead of yelling embarrassing me. So, I thanked him for it.

I often call up a friend when I feel a little low (this is a lil rare :)) or when I'm excited (Happens more often :)). He listens to my crib and rant patiently for hours. When we are about to finish the call, I realise that I've wasted his time and feel extremely sorry for it. So, I always make the closing statement with "Thanks and Sorry" (Thanks - for listening to me patiently ; sorry - for wasting his time). My roomie is surprised about this thanks too :)

The point of the stories is that, 9 out of the 10 people whom I've met, find it very strange when I thank someone. In a day I mostly end up thanking my roomie, friends, team-mates, auto drivers, bus-conductors, domestic help, security, shop keeper, facilities person @ work, bro , grand ma and mom too :). I agree that the concept of politeness is a subjective one.

I sometimes feel that politeness to an extent is missing among the children today. I'm totally against those who argue that politeness is highly overrated and that it conceals insincerity. some of them are worse when they think that while I wish someone a good day, I might actually be wishing him ill-luck all his life. I can't even imagine what goes into their mind which makes them think or imagine something so cheap. I agree that sometimes beneath the polish lies the spit. But I feel that one can always differentiate between a genuine smile and the one that is faked.

Politeness is often considered as a trait that is very specific to a culture. As Indians, we're so proud to say that it is in our heart and we don't have to express it to others. When someone expresses it, they are treated as aliens or mistaken for pretense. When it comes to politeness there is a stark difference between the western culture and ours. Westerners are extremely generous with vocalising their "Sorry" and "Thank you". On the contrary in our country, when you thank someone they think something is wrong with the relationship and that the closeness is missing. FOr Instance, when I thank mom for a tasty chocolate drink, she thinks I'm not close to her anymore and that I'm grown up now and treat her like a stranger. She gets upset with my 'Thank you' :). When I say sorry to my friend if I had disturbed him while in a meeting, he thinks that something is wrong in our relationship and that I want to maintain a distance :). It is strange that in our culture we think we are close when we abuse each other and take the other person for granted. In our culture silence is considered as the language of courtesy. A girl, who speaks a lot, is considered to exhibit a rude behavior.

Even for those with a business-mind, always looking for a profit in every single act of theirs, I want them to be informed of the umpteen benefits you get out of being polite. Politeness is the bedrock of all successful business. Customer service plays a key role in your business. My first example speaks it all. I would definitely want to go back to his shop regularly. Your employees will feel like they belong to your organisation and work relentlessly for your goal.

While I say that actions speak louder than words, I also believe that actions should be in sync with the words and deeds. So, I'm just saying that exhibit your deeds in words or through actions. According to me, courteousness, humbleness and modesty are the first cousins of politeness and so when you adorn your actions and words with politeness, his cousins come along with you for free and together they spread love in the world.