I was late today in the morning for work ( but that is usual) and was rushing to be at work before the meeting. As I was literally running to the main gate of my appartment, I saw this cute kutti kid, with a handkerchief pinned to her extremely cute frock, and with a beautiful smile on her face, reminding me of myself 20 years ago. I stood there watching the kid,untill my mobile signalled me to leave for the meeting ( thankfully there was no security around).With great difficulty I managed to get an auto. On the way to office, I was lost in my thoughts about how my life has changed drastically over a period of just 4 months.
I was also like this kutti kid,(not cute thou :) ) whose whole world was just Family,Friends and work. I consider the time I worked for a company in chennai as the best part of my life ( This is what I call as happy phase). I owe a lot to my family and friends for it.. But I went insane in the month of march.That is when I decided to take up a new job in Blore for no reason.
I came to this new city with the fear of staying alone. It would definitely not be a great feeling to be independent and all alone for someone who was pampered so much by everyone Whom she knows and who was never deprived of love, affection and freedom.But things were not so bad like what I feared( or thats how it looked like). I made new friends here and also my mobile would be busy most of the time with calls from my friends in chennai (I have(had) a lot of friends - proud of it :) ). But again in the second phase of insanity, I decided to quit that job in just coupla months and joined one of the top companies of the world ( thats what ppl say at work everyday.. not sure thou) but this time with a reason. I generally believed that money would be the last thing on this earth I would care for (was proud of it indeed) and that is why I was happy all these days like this kutti kid. But I joined this new company for not just good work, but have to accept that attractive package was also one of the reasons.
And now its just a month with lots of changes. My usually busy phone hardly gets three to five calls a day.I feel aloof, most of the time cribbing about my decision. Have not made friends here, missing all my friends as they are busy with their work. And the new friends I made in blore have gradually become acquaintance. And the distance has stained the relationship I shared with my mom ( my best friend then has become a typical mom now). I orkut like crazy to catch up with my old friends and to see that small crescent in my face for every new scrap.My house here is like the hostel room because of which I end up working for late hours and trying to find solace with work,which shows all symptoms of being a workaholic, and miserably failing in making my teddy my best friend :(.And today I am this unuusal Rams ( i generally talk and laugh a lot) having missed all happiness in life, posing a sad face all day long and longing for that unconditional love and care :(.
If this is the case with me, an emotional, extremely sensitive, naive affectionate girl, who is just six hours away from home, then I thought how terrible it would be for my friends who are abroad.Do they feel the same?
" Have we sold our happiness for money? Now may be we have more money but can it buy those good old days? "
But for those who feel money is happiness this might not be a pain but gain. :)
When I type this I remember the quotes of Swami Vivekanada, which goes like this, “It is always for greater joy that you give up the lesser". Again, Have I given up everything?
* Yipee! first blog without technical stuff :)
PS:
* Talking about workaholics, I read this article in the following link only to find that of the twenty symptoms specified, I already could see the traces of eighteen in me... :(
Have to work on not to be a workaholic :). You can also check for yourself...
Am I a Workaholic?
I was also like this kutti kid,(not cute thou :) ) whose whole world was just Family,Friends and work. I consider the time I worked for a company in chennai as the best part of my life ( This is what I call as happy phase). I owe a lot to my family and friends for it.. But I went insane in the month of march.That is when I decided to take up a new job in Blore for no reason.
I came to this new city with the fear of staying alone. It would definitely not be a great feeling to be independent and all alone for someone who was pampered so much by everyone Whom she knows and who was never deprived of love, affection and freedom.But things were not so bad like what I feared( or thats how it looked like). I made new friends here and also my mobile would be busy most of the time with calls from my friends in chennai (I have(had) a lot of friends - proud of it :) ). But again in the second phase of insanity, I decided to quit that job in just coupla months and joined one of the top companies of the world ( thats what ppl say at work everyday.. not sure thou) but this time with a reason. I generally believed that money would be the last thing on this earth I would care for (was proud of it indeed) and that is why I was happy all these days like this kutti kid. But I joined this new company for not just good work, but have to accept that attractive package was also one of the reasons.
And now its just a month with lots of changes. My usually busy phone hardly gets three to five calls a day.I feel aloof, most of the time cribbing about my decision. Have not made friends here, missing all my friends as they are busy with their work. And the new friends I made in blore have gradually become acquaintance. And the distance has stained the relationship I shared with my mom ( my best friend then has become a typical mom now). I orkut like crazy to catch up with my old friends and to see that small crescent in my face for every new scrap.My house here is like the hostel room because of which I end up working for late hours and trying to find solace with work,which shows all symptoms of being a workaholic, and miserably failing in making my teddy my best friend :(.And today I am this unuusal Rams ( i generally talk and laugh a lot) having missed all happiness in life, posing a sad face all day long and longing for that unconditional love and care :(.
If this is the case with me, an emotional, extremely sensitive, naive affectionate girl, who is just six hours away from home, then I thought how terrible it would be for my friends who are abroad.Do they feel the same?
" Have we sold our happiness for money? Now may be we have more money but can it buy those good old days? "
But for those who feel money is happiness this might not be a pain but gain. :)
When I type this I remember the quotes of Swami Vivekanada, which goes like this, “It is always for greater joy that you give up the lesser". Again, Have I given up everything?
* Yipee! first blog without technical stuff :)
PS:
* Talking about workaholics, I read this article in the following link only to find that of the twenty symptoms specified, I already could see the traces of eighteen in me... :(
Have to work on not to be a workaholic :). You can also check for yourself...
Am I a Workaholic?
4 comments:
Excellent beginning rams.
Well phrased state of confusion typical to the modern Indian(mostly) youth. We are utterly confused because at some point in our life we took the path that society suggested more successful. When we looks back at this point of time to the way behind, we will be afraid to see that we had been imitating some one or trying to become someone else.
We are running behind some abstract goals that is the whole reason.
yes i agree to you to a certain extend . i can understand how you are feeling after 21 years with your parents and suddenly going to some other place and feeling lonely
because i went through the same thing when i was 15 years old . we did nt had good college nearby my village .so after my 10th standard i have to go to a far off place to do my higher studies . i felt the same like what you are feeling now
there is only remedy for this. friends. you will get friends i am sure .may be even better friends than us . from 15 till now i have never been home more than 3 months . and i have been to 5 extremely different places. i survived because of friends . u will also im sure .and of course we need money to lead a happy life.so nothing wrong in chasing it .earn money but we have to make sure we are finding time to spend it and have nice time with whatever we earn . keep smiling . you can survive and u will :).
good one rams....
u made me think....when u said abt ur friends being abroad, i dont know if u had me in mind...but it struck me!!!! 7 months have passed...i still wonder what iam doing here....what am I after??i really dont know...
but i know one thing for sure....i need success!!!! and if i have to sell my happiness for that in your terms ,i really dont mind!!!! "evrything happens with a purpose"...thats what i say to myself everytime i feel lonely...
"Time is the true narcotic for pain"..u will recollect this if u have have read Ludlum....we have laods of things to experience ...dont get stuck rams!!!! everything will be fine and u iam sure u wont be unhappy with your decission!!!! good luck!!!!
I have done all sorts of things to combat loneliness too, but never can stay back at work for that! I hope you would get some friends soon who could get you more acclimatized and feel at home there.
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